Hey, Baltimore. Not even a little help on this one, huh? Remember when we gave y'all future franchise CF Adam Jones and a handful of others for fucking Erik Bedard? Because I do, hell I still have nightmares about that trade. Good ol' Bill Bavasi.
All jokes and PTSD aside, I'm glad y'all didn't help us out on this. This is the way it was supposed to be done. By eeking out a win over the lowly this isn't Moneyball anymore Oakland Athletics as we limp our way into the playoffs like a baby deer. It's the Seattle Mariners, this is what we do, even the nice things feel weird!
Except for tonight. And yes, I know.
Blah. Blah. Blah. 21 years. Blah. Blah. Blah. We've heard it all, especially today.
But for those that remained #TrueToTheBlue even after the days of "you gotta love these guys!" and "SoDo Mojo" was far removed, we had to live through it. It wasn't even hell, it was purgatory for two decades unnecessarily inflicted upon a devoted fanbase by the baseball gods.
That's a long damn time! Ask Mina Kimes, she understands.
Feel you, Mina. Feel you.
**raises fist in Mariners tortured fandom solidarity**
Where was I when the Mariners last made the playoffs in 2001? You know what, I'll tell you. I'm in a good mood so fuck it, why not?! There's no way this can come back to haunt future me!
I was 16 years old and spending my days cellphone-less in Lacey, Washington attending North Thurston High School (go Rams)! When I wasn't watching my beloved Mariners beat the brakes off of their opponents to a record 116-win season you could find me skateboarding at "The Gazebo" behind Fred Meyer and/or watching Dragonball Z whilst chugging Surge and telling my friends it makes my sperm go away and that's fine because babies are dumb anyways.
IYKYK.
Yeah, you could say I used to be cool.
You know what else was cool in 2001?
Middle parts for dudes
Old Navy sweater vests
TRL after school (c'mon Limp Bizkit, YOU GOT THIS!)
Britney and Justin
Moulin Rouge!
Chocolate milk on Fridays
Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft
Pokémon (still cool)
Hanging out on top of electrical boxes
Ahhh, simpler times. I skate, you rake. Me and the Mariners, we had a sweet deal going on. And that team was STACKED.
The memories from this squad are as special as the team was:
Arthur Rhodes with an earring so full of bling it would start fights with hitters. The best nickname in baseball, "The Boneyard." Bret Boone roided out of his mind and all of us pretending like we had no idea. Lou Piniella kicking dirt. Mike Cameron going nuclear in South Chicago. ICHIRO! ICHIRO!
Just thinking of ol' faithful Jamie Moyer pitching to Dan Wilson makes a watery substance form in my eyes I am unfamiliar with.
Until tonight.
And the best part is, not only is the streak over and the Mariners are playing relevant baseball in October again. But this squad will be viewed 21 years from now with an equal perhaps greater fondness. They've scratched and clawed all season long. The heart palps are real, folks. As is the fun differential. Win or lose you sure as shit won't be bored.
We get to root for a generational talent in Julio. A lights-out bullpen. The "Big Dumper." Ty France hitting bombs. The rise of Logan Gilbert and George Kirby. Shit, even Jarred Kelenic is coming along!
**knock on wood**
Being an M's fan has admittedly had more downs than ups in recent memory. Whatever, I wouldn't have it any other way. Tonight was special. This team is special. The drought is officially over. This is Sacramento's burden to shoulder now. My love for this franchise never wavered. And all the pain, all the bullshit, all the trades that blew up in our face, all the inept GMs...ALL OF IT...was worth this moment tonight.
America's team is back.
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